Don’t Fix Everything—Feel First

“Most people do not listen with the intent to understand; they listen with the intent to reply.” — Stephen R. Covey

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Listen Like a Dad, Not a Mechanic

Dads are natural fixers. The sink drips—we grab a wrench. The car sputters—we pop the hood. Our kids cry—we reach for the nearest solution. But here’s the truth: your child doesn’t always need a mechanic. They need a dad who can feel first, fix later.

When your kid comes home upset because a friend didn’t share, or they bombed a math test, the instinct is to jump in: “Here’s what you should do next time.” You want to give answers. You want to patch the leak. But what they really need is to know you’re in it with them. A hug. A nod. A simple: “Yeah, that stinks.”

That moment of connection builds trust. It says: I see you. I get you. I’m here for you. Fixing comes later—when they’re ready to hear it.

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The Power of Presence

Feeling first doesn’t mean you stop teaching or guiding. It means you pause before prescribing. It means you let your kid sit with their own storm while you sit next to them. Sometimes, just being there is the fix.

The paradox? When kids know you feel with them, they’re actually more open to your advice later. They can hear your wisdom because they first felt your heart.

So next time your kid melts down, fight the urge to throw a life raft of solutions. Instead, just be there in the water with them. That’s what presence looks like.

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Dad Challenge

This week, when your child vents, resist the first impulse to “fix.” Try this instead:

1. Listen all the way through without interrupting.
2. Name the feeling: “That must feel frustrating.”
3. Offer support before solutions: “I’m here with you.”

You’ll be surprised how much stronger your bond feels when you lead with empathy.

Because at the end of the day, dads don’t just raise kids—they raise humans who learn to process life, not just patch it.

Good read…

Present Over Perfect: Leaving Behind Frantic for a Simpler, More Soulful Way of Living