Laugh, But Don’t Cross the Line

Humor is part of fatherhood. It’s a survival skill. When you’re ankle-deep in Legos or covered in applesauce, sometimes you have to laugh. And it’s OK to laugh, but don’t cross the line. Remember, some things are not for jokes.

Your kid’s dreams. Their feelings. Their trust.

Joking about the wrong things doesn’t make you the “fun dad.” It makes you the dad they stop opening up to. You might think it’s harmless—just teasing them about their singing, or making a sarcastic crack about their big idea—but to them, it can hit like a hammer.

And once you make a joke at their expense in the wrong moment, you can’t just take it back. Kids remember. They carry those words, sometimes longer than you realize.

Your Voice Is the Blueprint

Your voice isn’t just background noise—it’s the blueprint for their inner voice. If they hear mockery in your tone every time they share something meaningful, guess what? That’s the voice they’ll hear in their head when they’re older, trying to decide whether to take a risk or chase a dream.

You can still joke. You can still tease. But there’s a difference between a laugh with them and a laugh at them. Learn the difference. Guard the difference.

If you’re not sure, ask yourself:

• Would I make this joke in front of their friends?
• Would I make this joke if they were crying?
• Would I make this joke if I knew they’d remember it for 20 years?

If the answer to any of those is “no,” don’t make the joke.

Recommended Reading

Nurturing Boys: 200 Ways to Raise a Boy’s Emotional Intelligence from Boyhood to Manhood (Communication, Emotions & Feelings)

Protect What’s Sacred

Every kid has a handful of sacred things—their talents, their insecurities, their hopes. Protect those like a guard dog. That’s your job.

When they open up about something important, that’s not the moment for sarcasm. That’s the moment to show them you’re a safe place to land. You don’t have to gush or overpraise—just respect it. Listen. Maybe ask a question. Show them you take it seriously, because they take it seriously.

Jokes are powerful. So is respect. Get both right, and you build trust. Get them wrong, and you build walls.

The Mission

Your mission isn’t to be the funniest guy in the room. Your mission is to be the one they know will never humiliate them. Save your sharp humor for the small stuff. Protect the big stuff.

Because one day, when they have something huge to share, you’ll want them to come to you first. And they will… if they know you don’t joke about what matters most.

Check out our post… Your Voice Is Their Inner Monologue for some more insight.